11 February 2012

A Sample Scene From My Screenplay, Time-bother.

What follows is an excerpt from one of the many film ideas I'm developing. For the purposes of your imagination please visualise the following performers as the cast.

Carl - John Krasinski (The Office US)
Leonard - Donald Glover (Community)
Anna - Alia Shawkat (Arrested Development)
Man 1 - Tim Robbins (The Hudsucker Proxy)
Man 2 - Another Tim Robbins (The Hudsucker Proxy)
Mr Velociraptor - A Velociraptor, but like, one in a top hat. (Jurassic Ritz)

Scientists in a laboratory, 2025. Carl, Leonard and Anna are arguing, they all wear lab coats.


CARL: We can't do this. I won't allow-
ANNA: You knew Carl! You knew exactly what we had planned. We agreed.
LEONARD: Anna's right. We all knew where this could go if- when this worked out.
ANNA: Exactly, Leonard's right.
CARL: No. Time travel is too dangerous. There are too many, just too many variables. We can't have any idea the effects that changing one tiny thing will have, let alone what you're proposing.
ANNA: We'll save so many people. Think of that.
CARL: You're still talking about killing. It's a huge alteration to the timeline-
LEONARD: The needs of the many...
CARL: I don't know-
LEONARD: Outweigh... go on...
CARL: The needs of the few... of the one. Let's do this.

Cut to office interior 2005, two men sit at a desk.

MAN 1: Hey, what if he's an opera singer?
MAN 2: Oh, yeah! And he can sing the name of the company over and over again.
MAN 1: But we can have him do a series of terrible puns and sight gags! We are-

Carl and Leonard appear behind them.

MAN 1: Oh my god!
CARL: Are you both working on an ad campaign for Go Compare?
MAN 2: Yes, but where did y-
LEONARD: Light 'em up.

Carl shoots both men. Leonard douses the office in petrol and lights a match.

Cut to Laboratory 2025. Anna's lab coat is blue.

LEONARD: We did it!
CARL: More importantly we didn't change the time stream any more than we had to.
ANNA: You're back! Great! I got us some wine to celebrate.
LEONARD: I'll get a corkscrew.
CARL: Wait! How come you're wearing a blue lab coat?
ANNA: They've always been blue.
CARL: Leonard, I think we may have changed history.
LEONARD: OK, but not in a significant way, I think we're going to be fine. Let's get some wine.

A knock at the door. Anna opens it!

ANNA: It's the boss! Welcome Mister Velociraptor! Mission Accomplished!
MR V: Rawr!

Mr Velociraptor enters and vomits music, Anna laughs and begins to emit jets of wine from her eyes. The various appliances in the laboratory grow mouths and scream incoherently. Carl looks aghast.

LEONARD: Ok. Yes. We may have messed up time.

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